BETAMAXNOMATES
'All she can do is dial and yell...'20080801
EFFLUVIA
I dreamed that I lost my job to Peter Kay last night. I came into work and my boss (who appeared to have had some kind of stroke - half her face was paralysed and she sounded like Kathleen Turner on qualudes) told me to 'get my desk' (not clear out, actually get) as I had been replaced. As I went to collect my desk I passed by my classroom and saw Peter Kay inside, dressed in a shiny suit, entertaining my class of kids with his shallow brand of observational humour. 'Not Kay!', I groaned, turning to my boss. 'Anyone but him! Coogan? Brydon? Walliams even?' She ignored me and handed me my desk (which was significantly smaller and lighter than I would have imagined) and escorted me off the premises, oblivious to my streams of hot, angry tears.
I woke up screaming and have decided never to go to sleep ever again.
I woke up screaming and have decided never to go to sleep ever again.
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I dreamt last night that, after meeting some friends on a train, I bumped into an ex. She was cheery, but again told me why we couldn't be together ("putting clothes on a pig", she said).
I missed her, and despite the insult I wanted to find out how she was doing. I wanted to ask her out to Eden in town, but before I could she drove off and waved.
Getting back on the train, I torched one or two people with some Jack Daniels, and calmly sat down. As I hadn't actually drank any, I was delighted when people suggested we all get breathalysed to figure out the killer.
Dumb shits.
I missed her, and despite the insult I wanted to find out how she was doing. I wanted to ask her out to Eden in town, but before I could she drove off and waved.
Getting back on the train, I torched one or two people with some Jack Daniels, and calmly sat down. As I hadn't actually drank any, I was delighted when people suggested we all get breathalysed to figure out the killer.
Dumb shits.
Well I did like Phoenix Nights.
And Dave, normally I would say you should follow your dreams but in this case it's probably best that you don't.
And Dave, normally I would say you should follow your dreams but in this case it's probably best that you don't.
putting clothes on a pig can be great, especially with someone you know and trust, but if you're not sure whether you want to put clothes on a pig then don't let anyone pressure you into it.
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