BETAMAXNOMATES

Today, that is. Just pissing down all day. The weather forecast here is scarily accurate. At least the one on the TV is. They show another Coke-sponsored one on the trains that makes very little sense and grades the temperature on a scale of 'refreshingness'. There's another weird (and constantly replayed) ad where a dog appears to take out a mortgage. Initially his owners are bemused but eventually they (and the estate agent/broker person) collapse into laughter and all live happily ever after. Whether they're now the dog's tenants or what, I don't know. I mean, that hardly seems like a sustainable living arrangement, does it? The ad ends with a close-up of the dog - with some CGI assistance - appearing to wink at the camera suggesting He Knows Something We Don't. Like maybe how the whole thing's a scam and his owners are landed with a dud property. Or maybe there's a follow-up ad that posits some kind of nightmarish Pacific Heights-type scenario where the innocent couple become prisoners in their own home, terrorised by this malevolent dog tycoon. This is all speculation, of course: when you don't speak the language (at least not with any degree of fluency) you kind of have to make up your own stories.

I am getting a bit better at speaking Japanese though. Still, problems arise (as Tre from The Apprentice pointed out a few weeks ago when he had to sell stuff in France) as soon as people start speaking back to you. And Japanese people do tend to talk a lot. And talk very quickly. Most of the time you just have to smile and nod or occasionally say 'hai'. The odd time people approach me in the street and just smile and say 'basketball' or 'velly tall' which is actually quite endearing. Beats being called a lanky streak of piss anyway. I've had my picture taken a few times too, once with a group of Japanese schoolgirls in Harajuku where I probably look like some kind of appalling sex tourist. Anyway, before I go here's a short video (no embedding allowed) shot from the POV of the conveyor belt in a Tokyo sushi restaurant. Really clever, really simple idea - a fascinating comment on the sport of people-watching. The sushi bars here are cool places to hang out at night, as are the noodle joints though, I have to say, the constant slurping is actually really off-putting. I know it's polite and everything but Jesus. It reminds of when I was kid and there was a neighbour of mine who was plagued by various asthmatic and adenoidal problems. I remember one day being in his house and listening to him eat: the monstrous gasping and gurgling noises he used to make still make me shudder in disgust today. Absolutely ghastly. After that I told my parents I never wanted to play with him ever again.
He's dead now.