BETAMAXNOMATES

Today is a day for rolled-up shirtsleeves, Saint Etienne, and beers at lunchtime. Today is like hearing ‘Crash’ by The Primitives playing in a shop and remembering how much you loved that song, singing along even though you've forgotten the words (but joining in with gusto on the 'na-na-nah' bits) and before you even know it you're dancing, twirling your arms around, knocking bottles and cans from the shelves, singing and spinning like a crazed human carousel. But you don't care: the sun is out and it's a fucking beautiful day. It's a day not to lose your temper with the Spanish student who sat next to you on the bus and spent the whole journey cackling into her mobile phone and who spilt some of her disgusting Yop on your designer jeans and didn't even apologise. Forget her: she's young, dumb, and full of... well, musn't judge. Look at the daffodils. You couldn't possibly sneer at the idiots with their rubber bracelets today - the charity wristband they bought second-hand off eBay to match their rainbow vinyl Gola shoulder bag and their Thundercats baby tee. Fuck them, life's too short. Today is a day to smile at the Oxfam street workers (don't give them any money though, or even a minute of your time: the weather's not that fucking good). Put down those entertaining MGA products and go make some fucking hay, bitches.
I'm feeling happy today - it probably shows - and I hope you are too. If you're not just reassure yourself that I'm being 'ironic' and that really I'm as miserable as you. Or whatever. Bother'd. Peace.

Normal service will resume once the ultimate futility of human existence again becomes apparent. In the meantime...