BETAMAXNOMATES

I recently purchased some water biscuits from your Glasgow store and when I got them home and tried them in the bath, they simply broke apart. Please advise, as I am very unimpressed with the level of quality of your products.

Dear Mr XXX,
Thank you for your email. I am sorry that you have been disappointed with our water biscuits.
As I am sure you appreciate, they are not meant for the bath, therefore the problem you had is no reflection of their quality.
Many thanks, XXX
Marks & Spencer, Retail Customer Service

I can't believe your email came from the "customer services" department. Where is your customer service?! I am simply trying to point out a very fundamental flaw with your product... How can you say that they are "not meant for the bath"? We can't all afford to take them abroad to expensive beaches. I make do with what I have. I would appreciate if you could reply with a sensible solution.
Thank you, XXX.

Dear Mr XXX,
Thank you for your email. We are Retail Customer Services, based in Chester Business Park.
I'm sorry that you thought our response was not a sensible one, however I have checked with our department and they have explained that we only sell the biscuits in a pack of other cheese biscuits. As XXX said, these biscuits are to be eaten and not placed in the bath.
Traditionally these biscuits are to be eaten with cheese. Maybe you could try this.
Kind regards, XXX
Chambers Retail Customer Services