BETAMAXNOMATES
'All she can do is dial and yell...'20041228
It's the Annual, Once-a-Year, Winterval Holiday 'Eggstravaganza'!
Happy Christmas, crackheads, and welcome to a special seasonal edition of your favourite site that isn’t the Anti-Christmas Zone.
So, without any further adieu, or indeed Agadoo, please welcome your host for this evening, Day Month Year’s Person of ‘04, a boyband refugee turned sensitive pop-rocker and weekend access super-Dad, the man who embodies everything that 2004 stood (and fell) for, a genuine fake, the artist formerly known as Bryan McFadden: Brian McFadden!
Howsit goin’? I’m Brian McFadden and this, the autocue tells me, is the Day Month Year Christmas Special, or DDMMYY XMS SPCL ‘04.
So won’t you join me (that name again is 'Brian-with-an-i' McFadden) in celebrating this bastard season? Take a place in the Day Month Year nativity, maybe nestled between the three wise men, watching the firelight shimmering on the head of the fetus Jesus, as a smacked-out transexual in an angel outfit sings a Hi-NRG ‘O Come, All Ye Faithful’, and together we read a prayer to the big J.C, Jim Caviezel:
On this solemn day we come to you, tender Babe of Bethlehem.
By your birth you have hidden your divinity in order to share our frail human nature. In the light of faith, we acknowledge you as true God, made man out of love for us. You alone are the Redeemer of mankind, yo!
Before the Crib where you lie helpless, Day Month Year asks of you, let there be an end to the spread of violence in its many forms, the source of untold suffering; let there be an end to the numerous situations of unrest which risk degenerating into open conflict; let there arise a firm will to seek peaceful solutions, respectful of the legitimate aspirations of individuals and peoples.
Yes, in other words, let there be… Team America: World Police! In cinemas January 14!
Babelicious of Bethlehem, Prophet of piss, encourage attempts to promote dialogue and reconciliation, sustain the efforts to build peace, which hesitantly, yet not without hope, are being made to bring about a more tranquil present and future for so many of our brothers and sisters in the world. (I would link to a picture but photographic records are proving hard to come by. Huh.)
And I think of Africa, of the tragedy of Band Aid 20. With great apprehension I follow the situation on Iraq-o-Vision. And how can I fail to look with anxious concern, but also invincible confidence, towards that Land of which you are a son?
He who bestows the Kingdom of heaven does not take away human kingdoms. Hasten to meet him; he comes to teach us the way of truth, peace and love.
And now: a word from our sponsors.
Happy Winterval, everybody. Hearty thanks to all my new friends and to the Pope for inspiring me with his words. Day Month Year will be off the air next week, but expect one last 'eggstra-special' update before the year's end.
Oh yeah, I was bored and I made this - some kewl wallpaper for your desktop.
Happy Christmas go fuck yourself.
So, without any further adieu, or indeed Agadoo, please welcome your host for this evening, Day Month Year’s Person of ‘04, a boyband refugee turned sensitive pop-rocker and weekend access super-Dad, the man who embodies everything that 2004 stood (and fell) for, a genuine fake, the artist formerly known as Bryan McFadden: Brian McFadden!
Howsit goin’? I’m Brian McFadden and this, the autocue tells me, is the Day Month Year Christmas Special, or DDMMYY XMS SPCL ‘04.
So won’t you join me (that name again is 'Brian-with-an-i' McFadden) in celebrating this bastard season? Take a place in the Day Month Year nativity, maybe nestled between the three wise men, watching the firelight shimmering on the head of the fetus Jesus, as a smacked-out transexual in an angel outfit sings a Hi-NRG ‘O Come, All Ye Faithful’, and together we read a prayer to the big J.C, Jim Caviezel:
On this solemn day we come to you, tender Babe of Bethlehem.
By your birth you have hidden your divinity in order to share our frail human nature. In the light of faith, we acknowledge you as true God, made man out of love for us. You alone are the Redeemer of mankind, yo!
Before the Crib where you lie helpless, Day Month Year asks of you, let there be an end to the spread of violence in its many forms, the source of untold suffering; let there be an end to the numerous situations of unrest which risk degenerating into open conflict; let there arise a firm will to seek peaceful solutions, respectful of the legitimate aspirations of individuals and peoples.
Yes, in other words, let there be… Team America: World Police! In cinemas January 14!
Babelicious of Bethlehem, Prophet of piss, encourage attempts to promote dialogue and reconciliation, sustain the efforts to build peace, which hesitantly, yet not without hope, are being made to bring about a more tranquil present and future for so many of our brothers and sisters in the world. (I would link to a picture but photographic records are proving hard to come by. Huh.)
And I think of Africa, of the tragedy of Band Aid 20. With great apprehension I follow the situation on Iraq-o-Vision. And how can I fail to look with anxious concern, but also invincible confidence, towards that Land of which you are a son?
He who bestows the Kingdom of heaven does not take away human kingdoms. Hasten to meet him; he comes to teach us the way of truth, peace and love.
And now: a word from our sponsors.
Happy Winterval, everybody. Hearty thanks to all my new friends and to the Pope for inspiring me with his words. Day Month Year will be off the air next week, but expect one last 'eggstra-special' update before the year's end.
Oh yeah, I was bored and I made this - some kewl wallpaper for your desktop.
Happy Christmas go fuck yourself.
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