BETAMAXNOMATES
'All she can do is dial and yell...'20041216
Cash Money Millionaire in All but Reality
I’ve nothing to say.
Not today, anyway. I mean, I could continue with more heart-rending tales of cat death, describing the hollowed-out corpse of Joss Stone stuffed with muck. But there’s only so much, isn’t there?
And I could tell you about my first day of Christmas shopping in town and complain about the categorically poxy state of public transport in this country.
Oh, the squalor of it all, riding the bus like a common lesbian. Because you know, if there’s one thing the stonewash brigade love more then the vadge, it’s riding them buses. ‘Lesbuses’, they should call them. Can’t move for muffdivers.
Disgraceful stuff.
Anyway, clearly I’ve nothing to say, and no interesting way of saying it. So I’ll steal someone else’s (good) idea and just give lame smart-ass answers to some stupid end-of-year questionnaire.
So, Anonymous:
1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
This.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Don’t believe in them. I believe in Carpe Diem, Latin for ‘shoot ‘em all and let God sort ‘em out’.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Thankfully no, as I probably would have run screaming. That whole business disgusts me.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
My cat died this week. Thanks for bringing it up.
5. What countries did you visit?
No foreign ones anyway. That whole business disgusts me.
6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
Papa needs a new pair of everything.
7. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Today. Perhaps my blogging nadir, though there’s still time.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Bringing Siobhan Fahey back from the dead. Figuratively speaking.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Failing to do the opposite with Joss Stone.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Continued mental illness, numerous imagined injuries and slights.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Happiness. On DVD.
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Brian McFadden, changing from ‘y’ to ‘i’.
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
Often my own. And Joss Stone’s. Bitch.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Spiritual advisors, therapy, timeshares.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
You really, really, really don’t know me, do you?
16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
Anything by Scissor Sisters. And they’re already so last year.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: happier or sadder?
Happier. Another one bites the dust.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Meth.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Serving the community.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Heavily medicated.
21. How will you be spending New Years?
High. Like in a plane, going to America.
22. Did you fall in love in 2004?
That is so gay.
23. How many one-night stands?
Does date rape count as a one-night stand?
24. What was your favourite TV program?
Scrubs, Pimp My Ride, Belinda Carlisle on the Gordon Ramsey kitchen/swearing thing.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Anonymous.
26. What was the best book you read?
The Poisonwood Bible, Voyage to The End of The Room, Jordan’s book wot she wrote herself with her own two hands.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Learning how to trigger VST plugins in the Piano Roll via external MIDI controller. Sweet. Also Diplo, The Real Tuesday Weld, Lady Sovereign.
28. What did you want and got?
Respect. From the elderly.
30. What was your favourite film of this year?
Zatoichi, Shaun of The Dead, Paris Hilton sex tape.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Exactly one year older than last year. Birthday spent happily with close friends and attractive rent-a-mate’s from Hollyoaks and Holby City.
32. What one thing that would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I wish... I wish I was little bit taller, I wish I was a baller...
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
Local authority chic.
34. What kept you sane?
My unwavering conviction in the absolute foulness of human nature.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Three quarters of Interpol.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Eamon Vs. Frankee.
37. Who did you miss?
Cat. Died, remember? Also Big Baby Jesus.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
A Swedish bartender who managed to both save my life and destroy it all in one night.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004.
What doesn’t kill me can only make me lazy.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
‘Babycakes? You just don’t know.’
Not today, anyway. I mean, I could continue with more heart-rending tales of cat death, describing the hollowed-out corpse of Joss Stone stuffed with muck. But there’s only so much, isn’t there?
And I could tell you about my first day of Christmas shopping in town and complain about the categorically poxy state of public transport in this country.
Oh, the squalor of it all, riding the bus like a common lesbian. Because you know, if there’s one thing the stonewash brigade love more then the vadge, it’s riding them buses. ‘Lesbuses’, they should call them. Can’t move for muffdivers.
Disgraceful stuff.
Anyway, clearly I’ve nothing to say, and no interesting way of saying it. So I’ll steal someone else’s (good) idea and just give lame smart-ass answers to some stupid end-of-year questionnaire.
So, Anonymous:
1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
This.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Don’t believe in them. I believe in Carpe Diem, Latin for ‘shoot ‘em all and let God sort ‘em out’.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Thankfully no, as I probably would have run screaming. That whole business disgusts me.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
My cat died this week. Thanks for bringing it up.
5. What countries did you visit?
No foreign ones anyway. That whole business disgusts me.
6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
Papa needs a new pair of everything.
7. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Today. Perhaps my blogging nadir, though there’s still time.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Bringing Siobhan Fahey back from the dead. Figuratively speaking.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Failing to do the opposite with Joss Stone.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Continued mental illness, numerous imagined injuries and slights.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Happiness. On DVD.
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Brian McFadden, changing from ‘y’ to ‘i’.
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
Often my own. And Joss Stone’s. Bitch.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Spiritual advisors, therapy, timeshares.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
You really, really, really don’t know me, do you?
16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
Anything by Scissor Sisters. And they’re already so last year.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: happier or sadder?
Happier. Another one bites the dust.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Meth.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Serving the community.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Heavily medicated.
21. How will you be spending New Years?
High. Like in a plane, going to America.
22. Did you fall in love in 2004?
That is so gay.
23. How many one-night stands?
Does date rape count as a one-night stand?
24. What was your favourite TV program?
Scrubs, Pimp My Ride, Belinda Carlisle on the Gordon Ramsey kitchen/swearing thing.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Anonymous.
26. What was the best book you read?
The Poisonwood Bible, Voyage to The End of The Room, Jordan’s book wot she wrote herself with her own two hands.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Learning how to trigger VST plugins in the Piano Roll via external MIDI controller. Sweet. Also Diplo, The Real Tuesday Weld, Lady Sovereign.
28. What did you want and got?
Respect. From the elderly.
30. What was your favourite film of this year?
Zatoichi, Shaun of The Dead, Paris Hilton sex tape.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Exactly one year older than last year. Birthday spent happily with close friends and attractive rent-a-mate’s from Hollyoaks and Holby City.
32. What one thing that would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I wish... I wish I was little bit taller, I wish I was a baller...
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
Local authority chic.
34. What kept you sane?
My unwavering conviction in the absolute foulness of human nature.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Three quarters of Interpol.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Eamon Vs. Frankee.
37. Who did you miss?
Cat. Died, remember? Also Big Baby Jesus.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
A Swedish bartender who managed to both save my life and destroy it all in one night.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004.
What doesn’t kill me can only make me lazy.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
‘Babycakes? You just don’t know.’
Comments:
<< Home
What's offensive? Slagging off Brian McFadden and Hell's Kitchen? Ooh, I'm daring, me.
And, no, I didn't read Jordan's book - but then, neither did she.
Post a Comment
And, no, I didn't read Jordan's book - but then, neither did she.
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home
Archives
200410 200411 200412 200501 200502 200503 200504 200505 200512 200601 200602 200604 200606 200607 200608 200609 200611 200702 200703 200704 200705 200706 200707 200710 200801 200806 200807 200808 200809 200811
Subscribe to Posts [Atom]