BETAMAXNOMATES
'All she can do is dial and yell...'20041122
Killing Time will be The Death of Me
Honestly, just because he’s 107yrs old and stuff, he thinks he can get away with anything. ‘Gays are destroying marriage’ this, ‘Madonna don’t sing live’ that. Forget Eminem, I’d be worried about the kids listening to the sick shit this Ill Papa’s laying down. There was talk there a while back of this madd wikked Pontiff MC bringing his holy show back to Ireland, corrupting the youth, and you can rest assured that hard-line leftist Commie-Nazi’s such as myself are dead set against it.
So fuck up, old man. This is the 21st Century and we don’t allow those kind of opinions here. Incidentally, tomorrow in Day Month Year: Why Gay Marriage Should be Compulsory for All and, the first in a series of tutorials designed a building a more tolerant and egalitarian society, Kill Pro-Lifer’s to Feed the Homeless.
Anyway, what’s been happening to me today? Why, absolutely fuck all, and thank you for asking.
A man named Brittany came into the store and paid for a shirt with his credit card. I mean, really. If your name was Brittany would you want to advertise that fact? I asked him when the wedding was but I don’t think he got me. So I accused him of shoplifting and got him arrested. And you can be sure that Brittany’s gonna see some action on the inside.
I was so bored in work today that, for an hour, I decided to give people excessive change – throwing in an extra couple of euro with every transaction. Amazingly, only one person noticed and gave it back. In some ways I wonder if this is my caring, selfless, modern-day saint side (see below) manifesting itself in reckless and financially irresponsible behaviour. Or maybe I’m just very bored. They could fire me, of course - if I hadn’t already quit.
My God, this means I’m invincible. I can do anything! First thing tomorrow I’m walking right up Alex of Moldovia and explaining to him why, for all our talk of liberalism and multi-culturalism, people wot can’t talk English proper just isn’t welcome here.
J/K! J/K!
I am, how do you say, only taking your piss, yes? Lolly, lolly, roffle roffle, roffle mao.
Besides, I can’t be racist. I get loads of stick for liking, you know, Sisters of Mercy and Bauhaus and stuff, so I can, like, totally empathise with people who feel racially persecuted. The power, people: fight it.
What else? Got another blog here for your perusal. My good friend Adrian has just joined the Blogger fraternity - after a brutal hazing involving paddles, spatulas and some other flat-faced implements - and has started a junkie diary chronicling his experiences with anti-depressants.
Though I have some serious reservations about the prescription of psychotropics (especially university doctors doing so pro bono), I can’t help but commend my friend’s bravery in not only taking the medication but also choosing to make it public.
I shall read with interest over the coming weeks.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m having a web diarist moment.
I simply must recommend you this - a song, ‘Child Brides’ by The Auteurs. I got the album a couple of years ago and liked it a lot; this track popped up on the Zen earlier today and I’ve been listening to it repeatedly ever since. The music – dirge-like, all eerie Hammond and shivering strings – and the lyrics, suggesting some kind of cult mass marriage/suicide, together with Luke Haines’s hoarse, cracked vocal delivery has just got me at the moment.
Get thee to a P2P and ch-ch-check it out post haste.
Anyway, I’m off.
Some other stuff I’m remembering now: shaved my beard, got provisional driving license (complete with obligatory dodgy photo), attended a ‘cruise’ (though not the kind of, uh, cruise I was expecting) – illegal racing of souped-up hatchbacks round the car parks of Liffey Valley. And I was going to write about my new job a bit more too, but this has been rambling on for a bit now.
So I shall end it here. As soon as I finish this sentence. The sentence I am currently typing.
Goodnight, gorgeous.
If so, WE WIN YOU LOSE.
Personally, I don't see why liberals and conservatives can't get on better. You hear the far-right conservatives calling the liberals a pack of baby killers, and the far-left pinko commies calling the conservatives a pack of baby eaters. Surely, this is a marriage made in heaven?
Of course, you'd probably need someone to handle the transfer of the babies, but centrists have to be good for something.
Yours sincerely,
Liberal David Barrett by day,
Captain Baby Eater by night.
: 3:19 AMYou look a bit like the pope, especially without your beard. Why did you lose the beard? WHY? I AM AGAINST IT.
Yeats didn't have a beard, Dave. You're thinking of The Lord Jesus Christ, silly.
The shaving was a mistake in retrospect - a misguided attempt to look more professional and business-like.
One of the girls at work remarked that it made me look younger, 'about 20', she said.
Which begs the question, how frikkin' old did I look before?
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